Lauren

Her misty blue eyes gazed over the ground like a super market scanner, searching for items. They seemed to be highlighted by her pink dappled cheeks, enhanced against her pale ghostly skin. Long eye lashes flittered like a butterfly on her eyelids. Silky brown hair was neatly placed in a bun with a claw clip holding it in place, like a tigers outstretched claws and grasping into her hair. Long thin pieces flapped annoyingly across her face. A blue and white checkered tunic hugged her body. Underneath, a chalk polo shirt beamed loudly against the uniform. Her arms were retracted towards her body like a shutdown crane. Radiant fluro pink nail polish hid in the corners of her toe nails afraid to be whipped away by nail polish. I really enjoyed this piece of descriptive writing Lauren - The part the really caught my attention was the nail polish, and your use of personification. You have included a number of language features to enhance your imagery. Next time think about how you can you varied sentence structures and lengths to maintain audience interest. x Mrs C || **Magic is believed to be a fantasy, concluded by most not to be real in people and places, the other know more. A valley full of life. You could hear but not see surrounded the peaceful river. Motionless trees draped their tired branches into the water after being dehydrated from the bleached white sun. Rocks rippled through the water creating white clouds of foam. Calm and clear it may appear but she is a siren. She will lure you in with her beauty and magical music, once she has you she will never let go. ** __//**The Zoo**//__ The A5 sheet of paper sized pigeon stood, emotionlessly, on the leaf littered ground. Its grey speckled head turned anticlockwise to face the large, thick glass window separating the two worlds. The pigeon stared longingly into the unreachable vast area from the safety of its small safe sanctuary. Red stained its bleached white feathered chest. The bleeding heart pigeon latched its black bead eyes onto mine. It hobbled like a drunken man. Puffed out its chest and then ruffled it feathers, an illusion to its size, intimidating me. The bird then retreated and foolishly flapped into the nearest tree. ||
 * [[image:mrscandrm7/BS93CRCA2Z1ETDCAPUL4WOCATEVCWLCANFM45BCA0VHVG8CA63RG15CAQ4EGGACA8KMEAECAZ8E9VGCASZN9D3CACGAR58CAQU24Q6CAYXK4T3CAHZEKYBCA88HLKVCABH7VJWCAY4AEVFCAS6BRGCCANRJ8BH.jpg width="221" height="195" align="left"]]We have been learning how to write a great descriptive paragraph. To achieve this you need to
 * have a varity of complex, compound and simple sentences.
 * Be able to create a picture in the readers mind
 * Have a large amount of
 * Be able to grab the reader in
 * Verbs, nouns, adjectives- incressed depth of vocab
 * Use the sences
 * Use your imagination
 * Has varied begining starters
 * Use personification, similes, metaphors, alliteration- language features ||
 * **__Character Description __** [[image:mrscandrm7/istockphoto_2872344-cartoon-girl-with-flower-vector.jpg width="221" height="308" align="right"]]
 * **__[[image:mrscandrm7/Swat-Valley-river-swat-beautiful-view.jpg width="371" height="248" align="left"]] Scenery description __**

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